


The United Republic

by SamoShampioni



Category: Eurovision Song Contest RPF
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Historical, Civil War, English Civil War, Gen, Historical, Not really historically accurate, Oliver Cromwell - Freeform, Puritans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-30
Updated: 2013-06-09
Packaged: 2017-12-06 23:50:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/741623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamoShampioni/pseuds/SamoShampioni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Historical AU Eurovision fanfiction set after the English Civil War. Cromwell bans the Eurovision Song Contest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Eurovision Ban

It had been three months since the English Civil War had ended. The aftermath was still felt all around the country. Cromwell and the republicans had won, the monarchy was disposed of. Oliver Cromwell was now the leader of Britain. The United Kingdom had become a United Republic. Cromwell, as a puritan, had banned anything celebratory. Christmas, parties, dancing. But most of all music. Cromwell hated music above all, believing it to be a distraction from humanities' true purpose, worship. With music banned, it seemed the UK's participation in Eurovision was in jeopardy. The Eurovision Song Contest, established to stop the constant wars between the European states. It was the most popular music festival in Europe. And now Cromwell banned Brits from participating in the contest, and forbid any mention of the once popular event. Europeans didn't seem to mind. It seemed that the contest would continue without Britain.  
Lulu and Sandie Shaw sat on the steps to the small house, looking out across the grassy fields. What would they do now? They were singers, that was their job, it wasn't like they were good at anything else. They had been part of Eurovision and now it was a banned event. At that moment, Engelbert walked by. Perfect, another Eurovision entrant. Just what they needed.  
"Engelbert! Engelbert!" Lulu yelled, jumping up from the step, "Did you hear? Cromwell banned the Eurovision!"  
"Yes," Engelbert replied, "I heard. But don't mention that word again. Someone might hear you."  
"What?" Lulu asked, "What word, you mean the Eurovi-"  
"Yes!" said Engelbert, "That word! Don't say it! Not out here in public at least."  
"What about the others?" Sandie Shaw said, "You know, the other Eurov... I mean... the other entrants in the uh... contest."  
"Others?" Engelbert asked, "You mean, from other countries? There are no others. Anyone who was here got out as soon as the Civil War started."  
The Civil War. The event that had started this whole mess in the first place. Engelbert had fought on the royalist side. He remembered, all that he had seen, all that he had done.  
"I... actually meant the other British entrants we've had," Sandie replied, "Sorry Engelbert, I didn't mean to remind you of the Civil War."  
"Oh, it's quite alright," Engelbert smiled, "I'm over it now. It's just upsetting that we couldn't stick with the monarchy, we had a great life before. Before all this."  
"Well, the King wasn't that great," Sandie said, "But this Cromwell guy is even worse!"  
"I wonder what happened to Bonnie," Lulu wondered.  
Bonnie Tyler had been due to go to the upcoming Eurovision Song Contest, but Britain wasn't going to be there now, not with Cromwell in charge. She had been chosen by the King himself. The contest had been very popular with the royal family, which was one of the reasons that Cromwell had put a stop to it. Cromwell also hated people enjoying themselves, which was what Eurovision was all about. He wanted the newly formed United Republic to live in misery.  
"I know where Bonnie is," Engelbert said finally.  
"You do?" Lulu asked, "Where?"  
"She works at a farm now," Engelbert replied, "We all had to find different things to do after Cromwell's ban on music."  
"We should go find her," Sandie said, "See what the score really is. What about this year's Euro... I mean, contest?"  
"It'll be pointless," Engelbert said, "Bonnie isn't going to the Eurovision, Cromwell banned her from going. Britain won't appear in the contest ever again."  
And so they set off to the farm, to find Bonnie Tyler. And they found her. She was standing there with a sheepdog, herding sheep into their pens. She was a natural at it despite not being in the business very long. The three Eurovision entrants walked over to her.  
"Bonnie," said Engelbert, "Hey."  
"Oh hey Engelbert," Bonnie replied, not looking up from her work.  
"Bonnie," Sandie said, "What are you doing here working on a farm? What about the Eurovision?!"  
"Oh, no," Bonnie said, looking down at the floor, "Don't talk to me about that. You know Cromwell doesn't want us to talk about that. This is my life now. Here, on the farm."  
"Stuff what Cromwell thinks," Lulu yelled, "You've got to go! The King chose you as our Eurovision entrant! You have to go to Sweden!"  
Sweden. Bonnie laughed. Without Cromwell's permission you couldn't even leave the country.  
"No," Bonnie replied, "Don't mention Eurovision, and don't mention the King. That's in the past, it's no more. Don't follow me, and, if you know what's best for you, don't mention that song contest ever again."  
With the sheep now secure in the pens, Bonnie walked off, into her barn and shut the door behind her.  
"Maybe we should leave her," Engelbert said, "Maybe it's not such a good idea. We all know what Cromwell's like. I wouldn't want to get us or her into any trouble."  
"But it's not fair!" Lulu yelled, "How can Cromwell just ban Eurovision like that!"  
"Well, he's the leader now," Engelbert replied, "He can do whatever he likes. I fought for the King, I could see how awful Cromwell would turn out to be, and would anyone listen to me? No. So enjoy your new despot."  
"We have to do something," Sandie said, "Bonnie's got to go to Eurovision. She just has to!"  
"It's none of our business," Engelbert reminded her, "In the end, if Bonnie wants to sneak out of the country to go to Eurovision, that'll be her decision. And, at this moment in time, it doesn't seem as if she wants to."  
"She does want to," Lulu replied, "She just doesn't know it yet. It's what we all want in this country. She just needs a little extra persuasion, that's all."


	2. Barnyard Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visit to Bonnie Tyler turns out better than expected.

"Sandie, Lulu," Engelbert whispered, "Look apologetic."  
Engelbert then knocked on the barn door. Bonnie still seemed pretty annoyed about their visit.  
"Bonnie!" he said, "Bonnie! Look Bonnie, we're really sorry."  
"I don't need your apologies," Bonnie said, "You should have known better! You shouldn't have come here talking about you-know-what!"  
"You know what?" Lulu said, "You mean the Eurovi-"  
"That's enough Lulu," Engelbert interrupted, "Bonnie, look, we're sorry we talked about you-know-what. We shouldn't have mentioned it. Look, let us in. Please? We need to talk."  
"About the contest, you mean," Bonnie said from behind the door.  
"You shouldn't pass up the opportunity to showcase your talent to Europe!" Sandie said, "Not just because Cromwell is in charge."  
"Cromwell's decision is final," Bonnie said, "Look, can you guys just go away? I'm a farmer now, singing is banned, now this is what I do. I don't want to talk about the Euro... the you-know-what."  
"Tough," Lulu said, "We want to talk about it."  
"It's none of your business whether I go or not!" Bonnie said, "You should just be thankful that when you guys went it wasn't banned! You got the chance, I didn't! Now how about you mind your own blinking business!"  
And with that Bonnie ignored them and walked to the back of the barn to go and tend to the chickens. Looking at the chickens walking around the barn, she thought about the contest. She had been really exited about it, and had been looking forward to going. But now Cromwell had ruined all that. Maybe she was jealous of the three Eurovision entrants who visited her, after all, they had got to do what she now couldn't. Maybe they were right?  
"You two messed that up," Engelbert said.  
"Us?" Lulu asked, "Surely not us?"  
"Yes you," Engelbert said.  
"We're only saying what everyone's thinking," Sandie said.  
"Yes, well going against Cromwell isn't a very good idea, I know that first hand," Engelbert said, as the three of them began to walk away from the barn. At that moment, the barn door squeaked open slightly.  
"Wait!" Bonnie shouted after them, "You're right, we do need to talk."


	3. Solution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where before there was nothing, there was now hope. It seemed that there was no doubt about it now, Britain would be represented this year in the Eurovision Song Contest, even though Cromwell had done his best to ban it.

"Ok," Engelbert said, "Now, you two be good, ok? I think I may have just thought up of a solution to this problem."  
"Fine," Lulu said.  
And with that the three of them walked into Bonnie's barn.  
"Ok, we're inside now," Bonnie said, "So now you can talk about Eurovision as much as you want."  
"Ok, so why don't you want to be on the Eurovision?" Lulu said, "Just because of the ban, or...?"  
"What? No no no Lulu, you've got it all wrong. I do, I do want to be on the Eurovision, so very very much, just like you guys were," Bonnie admitted, "But it's so hard, ya know? With Cromwell running this country into the ground and banning Europe's most popular music festival... I don't know what would happen if I went, I wouldn't know how to get there, Cromwell has banned all travel out of the UK, am I correct?"  
"Mostly correct," Engelbert grinned.  
"Meaning... what exactly?" Bonnie asked.  
"There may be a way out of the country to Sweden after all," Engelbert explained, "There's a guy I know, Daz Sampson, once a Eurovision entrant like us, he runs a shipyard now, ever since Cromwell's ban on music he has been mastering his skills as a ship builder and also as a sea captain. I think he could do something, he might be able to help us."  
"Bloody hell Engelbert!" Lulu said, "Do you have contacts with _all_ of our previous ESC entrants?!"  
"Indeed I do," Engelbert said, "So Bonnie, what do ya say?"  
Well, this certainly could be a solution. But there was only one way to find out.  
"I accept," Bonnie smiled, "I mean, we might as well give it a shot. It's better than lazing around all day here anyway. I'll get Cliff Richard to look after the farm while I'm gone, he's a farmer now too, did you know?"  
"Great!" Sandie said, "Now we can get off to the shipyard!"  
\---  
Daz Sampson was more than a little surprised to look out of his window and find four Eurovision entrants standing there outside his shipyard the next morning.  
"Daz! Daz!" Engelbert yelled, rattling the metal gate, "Let us in! We need you, it's important!"  
"Come in, come in," Daz said, opening the gate and leading the Eurovision entrants to his house.   
On entering the house the four of them were shocked by what Daz had. Eurovision flags and leaflets were everywhere, draped over the walls, scattered across the floor. There was so much of it, everywhere.  
"Oh god Daz," Engelbert said, "You do realise that this is all prohibited material, do you not? Cromwell's Eurovision Act bans this..."  
Indeed, just carrying anything to do with the Eurovision Song Contest was now an offense, recently a peasant had recently received many, many years in jail for handing out leaflets about this year's Melodifestivalen.  
"Why the hell would you keep all this stuff?! If Cromwell finds out-" Lulu began.  
"Cromwell won't find out," Daz grinned, "I've got this all under control, Cromwell and his army never come here. So anyway, enough about my stuff, you wanted to see me, Engelbert?"  
"Ah yes, I was wondering if we could sneak... _something_... out of the country," Engelbert began, Bonnie giving him a glare at being referred to as 'something'.  
"Oh, yes, certainly," Daz said, "Anything for you. I'm a pro at sneaking past Cromwell's new border agency, what did you have in mind? Sneaking some cheese to the Netherlands, perhaps, some gold to Switzerland?"  
"Well," Engelbert explained, "It's not so much a thing, it's a person. Daz, we'd like you to get one of your boats to sail Bonnie Tyler off to Malmo so that she can take part in the Eurovision Song Contest despite the ban."  
Silence filled the room, as Daz quickly looked out of the window to see if any of Cromwell's spies were listening.  
"So," Bonnie said, "What do you say?"  
"That's a bit difficult," Daz said finally, "I mean, I'd love to... but..."  
"Aw come on Daz," Bonnie said, "You do love this contest, don't you? We need Britain to be represented this year!"  
"Well, I've sneaked into Sweden many times before, we could do it. Bonnie, are you sure you want to do this?"  
"I am sure."  
"Good," Daz replied, "Then I'll see what I can do. As the first semi-final of the contest is one week away, it'd be better if you left as soon as possible."  
"Alright then, let's do this," Bonnie said. Where before there was nothing, there was now hope. It seemed that there was no doubt about it now, Britain would be represented this year in the Eurovision Song Contest, even though Cromwell had done his best to ban it.


End file.
